Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm repeating myself...

I'm quite certain I am

I will work to avoid profanity in this post but it's gonna be hard.

On the streets of downtown Anywhere, USA today the following are two, not one, TWO conversations strangers chose to have with me.  And to be clear by strangers I mean two people I have NEVER EVER met, spoken to, or seen before.  Ever.  And by chose I mean that I did not strike up conversations with them, they talked to me.

Conversation one: me and a man in his 50's, smoking a cigarette, probably gay (I only mention this because you would think that a gay man would know better... at least better than a straight one.  I stand corrected)
Him: So, when are your triplets due?
Me: Hilarious. 
And scene.

Conversation two: me and a woman in her late 30's who had already asked me how long I had to go to school to do my job.
Her: I've seen you before.  I mean you look familiar but your face is a little chubby right now.
Cue my exit.

I'm pretty sure the police would have happily allowed me to punch both of these people in the face and not filed charges.

Here's the thing.  I'm 37 weeks pregnant.  My face should be chubby.  I'm almost finished growing another (just one old gay man) human being.  What did you do today?  Do you know nothing about what pregnancy does to the human body?  It's not pretty.  I didn't get pregnant cause I thought it would be a glamorous walk in the park.  It's not easy.  It's not pretty.  And no one feels pretty whilst pregnant.  I do not need a stranger to remind me that I look round.  So, shut your damn mouth.  If you have nothing nice to say... consider using the words 'glowing', 'lovely', 'striking', 'radiant'.

People never cease to amaze me.  Never.  The next time it happens, I may just unload.  I may.

The Best part?  I didn't punch anyone in the face today.  Thought about it.  Didn't.

1 comment:

Lindsay V said...

Next time, punch 'em! Maybe you'll get to be on the Today show. I know Natalie would do a segment. And when that happens, I'll come with you! We'll turn this negative into a double positive because I know there's nothing more you want to do then travel to NYC and Today Show when you're 37+ weeks :) Thhhhhanks.