Like a Mack truck. That's what ran me over. And then backed up and did it again last night.
She woke up at 4:30. Crying. An hour later she was still crying. I went in twice to comfort her. Reassure her that she was fine and that I was there. Didn't help. More screaming. 60 agonizing minutes and I made a bottle. She sucked down 6 ounces and is still asleep right now. She didn't fuss when I put her down that time. She went right to sleep.
I will not do that again. My Mom and Dad (who were more concerned that I was torturing their granddaughter and calling her names) and others (Jill I'm looking at you) were right. Here are my new revelations.
I talked a big game but it's not about self soothing. The child was hungry. And my decision to let her cry forced her to lose an hour of sleep and me to lose two hours (cause I laid in bed and felt awful for another hour).
She's still a baby. Needs me.
She needs to eat more during the day. Think I'll even start giving her some regular milk.
She fusses before naps and puts herself to sleep. She fusses before bed and puts herself to sleep. She can self soothe.
No one thing works for everyone.
So I take it back. She's not a manipulator. She's hungry. That's all.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go teach the dog to take care of the kids so I can go back to bed.